Everyone has opinions on what marriage is or should be - and those vary widely. But I guess a better question would be "What do you want your marriage to be"? Do you want it to be a partnership? Do you want it to be a friendship? Do you want both? See there will be stages in marriage, it will change with time. When you first think about getting married are you caught up in the fairy tale? Oh they're so dreamy. Then after you've been married awhile you realize they have just as many hang ups as you. The marriage isn't perfect - wanna know why - cause you are there. :) Okay now I'm not a scholar and don't have a degree in relationships, nor have I been married 50 years. But as of today I've been married 16 years. And though some may think it strange that my husband and I spend all our time together, we truly do enjoy each other and want to spend our time together. It's not that we don't do things with others but we really enjoy each other. He is my best friend. But let's look and see what God has to say about Marriage. There is the part where God told wives to be submissive to their husbands. So many struggle with this, but I want to give you a different look at this and hopefully when I'm done - you will want to give this submissive thing a try. :)
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. (nlt)
1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over. (nlt)
Ephesians 5:22-24 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. (nlt)
What most women don't understand is that as the husband is the head of the house, he is also responsible for it - and if you are submitting to his authority, as long as he is not going against God, you're covered. But what does that coverage mean? I'm going to show you that.
25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. (msg)
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them. (msg)
I once heard an explanation on what "Covering" means. We talk about "Gotcha Covered" and it could mean, I'll back you up, I'll pay for you, I'll protect you... But when God instructs Husbands to COVER their Wives as Jesus covered the church... You better take a double take on that. When Jesus covers you not only did he give his life (and I'm sure husbands would for their wife/families) but notice Jesus never did anything that tore someone down. He never did anything that made someone else feel less than. He treated them with respect, he lifted them up. Even the woman at the well that had had several relationships, he did not make her feel like she was less than in his eyes. That is what Covering your bride should be.
I see so many people get caught up in movie star lives and they want to model their marriage and relationships after them... but I ask - How's that working for you? I think about all the reality shows on couples and there is only one left that I can think of that did a show about their life and it hasn't ended in divorce. Hmm Do you really want what they have? Look to a marriage that has withstood a storm. Look to a marriage where the people are happy where they want to spend time together. It's one thing to love each other but I think it's important to like each other too. Find a role model that will make the marriage work.
Proverbs 31 Is a great guide to what a great wife should be and do. It's who I want to model myself after. (click the link) See times are different - But God's design is still the same. Ephesians 5:21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
This is the person that you swore to God that you would love, honor and obey- so I ask - Is what you're doing Honorable in the sight of God?
Have a Blessed Day everyone - Enjoy your spouse if you have one - I'm going to go spend time with my best friend. Blessings, Lynn